standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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