So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
