you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
