I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
