Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
