apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
