You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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