guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize