chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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