My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
