hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
