and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Someone stole a lamp last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
