You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
