WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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