The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
