Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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