he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize