Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
