I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
