Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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