You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Come share oat with me in your robe
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
