Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
