And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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