I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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