Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
