Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
