Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize