Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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