I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
