No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
