The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
