just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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