I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize