His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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