Small penises have feelings too.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
