I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
