That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
