Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
