You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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