Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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