I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
