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• (407): View more from Florida

  So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

  (352): View more from Florida

  WHAT?!

  (407): View more from Florida

  He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!

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• (646): View more from New York

  He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

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• (206): View more from Washington

  after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?

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• (760): View more from California

  I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico

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