shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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