i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize