You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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