remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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