Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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