Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think my moral compass just broke
Pooping to opera.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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