The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
