If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
