I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
