Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
