You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
