I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
