"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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