Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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