Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
