I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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