she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
