but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
